I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of the book, The Five Love Languages, but it’s so good and an essential to read that I am including the link here. It lists five different love languages that all people possess, but helps you identify your top two “languages” you need to feel loved. When my groom and I first got married, we both read it and SURPRISE, we had the opposite love languages. His were 1. physical touch (‘nother surprise. haha) 2. words of affirmation. Those were literally my least scored languages. My top two were 1. Acts of service and 2. gifts. It was amazing to see how I would serve him all day by doing things for him and he would tell me all day long how much he loved me and at the end of the day, we both felt void of each other’s love to a certain degree.
Reading this book was such an eye opener. Neither of us understood why the other needed their love language. His thoughts were…”I tell you with my words how much I love you, so that should be enough”. My thoughts were “anyone can say words, actions matter more…I need you to show me”. You can picture how this turned ugly really quickly.
As we have aged and grown in our marriage, my love language has evolved and quality time has moved up as an importance on my list. Sometimes, sitting a room and simply being near each other is enough, but there are other times where I crave that deep connection and engagement.
Speaking each other’s love language is essential to a healthy marriage (and in any other relationship for that matter). It’s easy for me to serve, serve, serve or bring home my groom’s favorite little snack just because he was on my mind, but to him, it doesn’t full his tank. He is still running on fumes, so I have to make it point to say how much I appreciate him and take that extra little step to stop what I am doing and give him a hug (and we all know how terrible of a hugger I am). And he has learned to pick up something on the way home like my favorite candy bar to let me know I was on his mind. It doesn’t take much and honestly, it can all be done without ever touching the bank account, but it definitely has to be intentional.
I have some AHHH-MAZING friends. Like, so awesome I can’t even describe it. Over the past couple of years, it has been apparent to me how intentional they are. With gifts and acts of service being my top two love languages, I take a homemade gift as the epic gesture in friendship. Not only are you giving me something, but you took time out of your day to make me something….you score a 10 on my judging card. Here are some of my most favorite gifts I have received and an explanation as to why…
So….what are your love languages? What fuels your tank? I hope your heart is being fueled by them today!