I am a girl who sets out each day to see the big picture…the eternal difference in the small and ordinary happenings in life. My husband (pictured with me in the photograph) and I currently have two littles, both boys, and TWO little girlies on the way. If you would have asked me eight months ago if I ever saw myself with four children, I would have replied, “Sure, but we like adding forever humans to our family at a slow pace”. Little did we know, God had other plans and was probably smirking at us while we believed “our plans” were so together.
I often get the question from others once they find out we are having identical twins, “what did you do when you found out you were having twins?”. I would love to say, “Oh, I handled it with grace and class. I put my super mommy cap on and said ‘I got dis'”, but my reaction wasn’t so classy. The chemicals and hormones in my body took over causing me to shake uncontrollably and my voice reached a pitch only dogs can hear. I remember ultrasound technician asking me numerous times if I was going to be okay. I would look at her, feel my sister rubbing my arm and honestly tell her, “I do not know”.
Do not get me wrong, I love my babies and I loved the thought of having more babies, but seriously…two at one time has rocked the boat within me. The initial fears (and you can ask any of my friends who received chapter texts from me at 7 A.M. freaking out) were: How is my body going to handle this?, How will we afford two more babies and more importantly, two at one time? (twice the diapers, twice the food, twice the clothing…you get the point ;)). Will I completely lose all sanity to having a toddler and two newborns?, What if they are boys? (four boys 5 and under was a bit intimidating…I mean, let’s be real…the energy would be too much for my wittle ‘ole house to handle), but what if they are girls??!?!?! What will I do with two girls? I only know boys and all that hormone fluctuation at once..help me now. I’ll be honest, every aspect of life seemed overwhelming and we were/are in no way ready to double our number of children in one little afternoon.
Then it happened…
This is when I calmed the freak down and began to imagine all the wonderful aspects of twin-hood. I imagined them cuddling inside of me and holding hands as newborns. I got inside the brain of my five year old, who was the most excited about he and his brother EACH having a baby of their own. The sweet dreaming of all the good suddenly outweighed the fears. The fact I will not be sleeping for oh, say the next five years took the back burner to the reality of a house full of giggles and love. My husband and I still look at each other when the whole, “we are having two babies at once” hits us and have mini melt downs, but we pray God will bring a united front within us and make us stronger because of it.
Life in 2016 is going to look drastically different than life in 2015, but I have never been one to back down from a little life challenge. “Here’s to making each day count.” (Jack Dawson, Titanic)
Two little 7 week identical blobs 😉 My husband had started a new job, so we decided he would not come to the ultrasound appointment with me. Ha…this led to an immediate phone call starting with “are you sitting down”, followed by the not so gentle approach of “so, we are having TWO babies”. Luckily, I had my sister with me to reassure me everything was going to be “okay”.
This is the last picture of them in one view. Cute little things 😉 They are about 18 weeks gestation.
Hope you all enjoy the updates, via the blog, as they come. These girls have already made their presence known in our world and I am excited to have each of you walk the journey with us!